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 I met her by the vending machines.
We spoke in breaths…and that’s it.

It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Naked speech, we had nothing to hide.
We painted our names red in the skyline.
And nights we kissed the stars and waved goodbye.

I could have stay there until I died.
Until my heart became coffin nails.
Only she could have made me live like this,
Off of crappy food and TV static.

We made the moon bow down to us.
And the stars worship us.
Could have survived in space
From the air exhaled by the two us

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.

Ever loved something so much it hurt your stomach?  
She had me so high; thought I found Jesus.
She rode off in that bus; never saw her again.
Close the book, even fairy-tales ends.
 
I don’t know why I sank this ghost ship
I guess some secrets you just keep on your lips.
Other you use to touch the stars
Like diamonds you’ve dreamt of from afar.

I remember you well
From that hotel.
I closed my eyes
And you said,

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.
For a while
For a while
For a while

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.

Can’t go on like this.
With this ardent love.
This place returns my sense
For while.
A song about heartbreak, we've all been there, Let the melodies sooth your pain.

Based on true events, though I changed details. For one, it was a park not a hotel..but hotels are so much cooler.

Listen to it here: youtu.be/8Q0ezoJyfdY
FREE DOWNLOAD: tinyurl.com/oc5fhyo

------------------------
Links:

Facebook: www.facebook.com/DylanSetoArti…
Bandcamp: dylanseto.bandcamp.com/
SoundCloud: soundcloud.com/dylanseto
Deviantart: xxdraxx.deviantart.com/
Youtube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCuQA8…
Add a Comment:
 
:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 9, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Hola, amigo, it's Shocker. I listened to the song, and here are my thoughts. There's good and bad to this song and I'm going to say each. Criticism is the best teacher after all. (Gods know I could use it from time to time. xD)

Lyrics-wise, I liked it. I enjoy love songs and sad songs greatly and merging them is always fun. The symbolism, metaphors and all that other stuff you get drilled into your head in English class was great, very well done. I liked it. So A+ here! I'm also a fan of rap and I feel it works here. :)

I love the music in the background, it's really beautiful. I like the piano, it's super pretty. Actually, it remind me of a song....something by OneRepublic. Was inspiration drawn here? Perfectly fine if it is, after all, there is no such thing as a completely original idea. All artists draw inspiration from somewhere, even their fellow artists. Anyways, I love it.

Now for the part I'm more conflicted on, the vocals. I have pros and cons of it. Let's start with cons, shall we? Get the bad out of the way. Well, the vocals have an odd feeling to them....They feel slurred, as others have said, I suppose? The rap part felt a bit, I don't know, thick in a way? Like the words were too close together without room to 'breathe' so to speak. I'd suggest adding a bit more space between each word if possible. (But I am not a singer, nor a musician, so take my opinion with a grain of salt.)

Now onto the pros of the vocals. They sounded very cool. The echo, along with the slurred feeling, gave it a dream-like feeling. If there was a music video for this I'd expect a blurry white border around the edges, like they do in shows when displaying a character's memories. The dream feeling combined with the quiet and pretty lyrics give it a great, almost lullaby-like feeling that I adore. So, pros and cons weighed together, I'd say it's pretty good.

So, all together, I'd say it's a fantastic song. Great lyrics, background music and vocals. All-in-all, I love it. :D

:icontheruneplz: ~Shocker
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2014  Student Artist
The way I write lyrics actual has nothing to do with English class. Haha. I actually just write A LOT and use to analyze song lyrics for the hell of it.

I don't actually listen to One republic, so that's an interesting comparison, I always aim to cross genres so I'm not going to fight it. I get a lot of Yung Lean comparisons too, for some reason, that one I don't really get. I guess because my music has kind of an ambient feel to it.

Thank you :)
Reply
:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
xD Yeah, I was just using those terms because I'm a writing nerd sometimes. But that's cool, writing is awesome and so is analyzing things. It's fun.

Hmm, guess your music just has that kind of feel. Still, it's great.

You're welcome and good luck!
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Student Artist
Oh, I'm well aware of what the terms mean, I was just saying my technical ability doesn't stem from me paying attention in school but rather me analyzing more Walt Whitman than I can handle. If I read ever read Song For Myself ever again, I will probably be directed to a psychiatric help.

The thing is, I could never get into Yung Lean, I hate his music, he has a reputation for being a White lil B where people like his music BECAUSE it's bad. I don't get it. Whatever.
Reply
:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 16, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Tries to go read "Song for Myself"* *Is intimidated by the size* *Shall do that some other time* But I get that. xD

Ah, that makes sense as well. I've personally never heard of this Yung Lean, but I know similar artists. (If I hear 'Anaconda', 'Blurred Lines' or any of those other songs, I may snap.) I don't get why songs all about sex and violence are so loved. Even the feel of their music sounds terrible to me, as if most popular music is all mass produced to sound similar and work off the same idea.

Or maybe that's the bias talking. But that's why I like artists on YouTube and such, like you. Their music is more creative, more inspired. It's not as much to make money as it is to have fun and do what you love. The songs often have great meanings, great ideas, great sound, great everything.

....Or maybe that's more bias talking. XD
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2014  Student Artist
To be honest, I've grown to accept (and even enjoy at points) mainstream music. I got in Drake about a year ago, although he isn't and probably will never be my favorite artist, he does have tracks that really stand out that aren't his singles. Nothing Was The Same was a really solid album with some super ambient hip-hop tracks, which to be honest, isn't THAT different from what I did on this track.
Reply
:iconshocker7776:
Shocker7776 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, colored me impressed. I listened to the song and it wasn't too bad. Still a change from my normal style of music (pfft, I don't even have a style anymore. A flip flop is more consistent than me), but nonetheless good. Mainstream can be good at times, but I guess I never seem to end up hearing the good stuff. My local radio stations only play the bad-yet-somehow-popular stuff. I have to make do with YouTube and whatever music I can download. :)
Reply
:iconprincesspeach20:
PrincessPeach20 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Here, I made a little review of your song if you don't mind (Don't worry, I gave credit). fav.me/d81hmrz
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Student Artist
Thank you :0 I read it a while ago but only had time to get back to you now. I'm glad you liked it!
Reply
:iconprincesspeach20:
PrincessPeach20 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Your welcome!
Reply
:iconpapetto-manipyureta:
papetto-manipyureta Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Interesting piece. I was intrigued hearing a familiar chord triad throughout the song ww

Looks like I'll just repeating what everyone is saying (the tempo). Anything other I say is work on the dictation; it sounds a bit slurred. 
Reply
:iconpunctualturtle:
PunctualTurtle Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Student General Artist
Hi, I listened to your song! I'm not a huge rap fan, but your song is really beautiful. I LOVE the lyrics. The instruments are wonderfully composed and synchronized. However, you sounded a bit...out of breath? Or like you couldn't keep up or something. It's a little "off". I'd also recommend that you seek a wider range of vocal pitches. You're staying within a pretty narrow range, is that your comfort zone? You're good at carrying a note and changing pitches within that range, but a wider vocal range would probably fit the song better and make it more "interesting".

P.S. I'm not trying to criticize you, I just want to give constructive feedback. You can sing 10000x better than me... I sound like a dying wallaby >.<
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014  Student Artist
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconthesisters2:
TheSisters2 Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey, I just listened to this on YouTube, and it's wonderful. Better than many songs today.-Chrissy
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Jul 2, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks :D
Reply
:iconjustdirt:
JustDirt Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014
My dad always tells me to go by the meaning of the song, not the beat. Of course, I agree with people who say that you ran out of breath during the rap, but to be more fair, I'd like to say the lyrics were worded beautifully. I can't be descriptive to save a life, but those lyrics are just amazing, to say the least. I can't wait to see more.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconkisalovesllamaz:
kisalovesllamaz Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Nice :3 could use a bit of work but really good
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2014  Student Artist
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconsomeonesecho:
someonesecho Featured By Owner May 27, 2014
I agree with diana8651
it's quite alright, but the timing feels a lil' off and you often sound out of breath with the rap and such. I say that you should learn to find your own pace that you're comfortable with and work from there. But I don't know, it's just my opinion, so yeah
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 27, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks for listening and giving feedback :)
Reply
:iconanaanonyumous:
AnaAnonyumous Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful! I listened to the song, a very nice melody, and the lyrics are pretty good too. However, one thing that I noticed when listening is that your voice doesn't quite... oh, what's the word... match with the tempo. Timing is everything. It was just a touch off. Other than that, it was fantastic!
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 26, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks for the feedback!

Glad you liked it! :D
Reply
:iconmydragonzeatyou:
mydragonzeatyou Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sorry I can't think of anything to say.

I'm kind of love illiterate.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Student Artist
Oh well! XD You didn't have to say anything.

...Thanks for reading/listening? rofl.
Reply
:iconmydragonzeatyou:
mydragonzeatyou Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha! I'm not even sure I BELIEVE in love.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Student Artist
I'm getting to that point in my life where I'm not sure I want a relationship anymore ,or at the very least I don't think I could put them before me anymore.

"She completes me" is really wack to me now. To me it's just something like, "She's a really good friend..and sometimes we'll do things I won't do with my other friends."

If that makes any sense. :P
Reply
:iconmydragonzeatyou:
mydragonzeatyou Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha that does make sense!

I guess maybe I'll just find someone to have sex with before I die. I mean, I don't really want to die without at least trying it once!
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Student Artist
Haha. Have fun with that? lmao. Shouldn't be too hard for you since you're a girl. :P You could probably find someone within the hour if you tried.
Reply
:iconmydragonzeatyou:
mydragonzeatyou Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well not NOW!

I'm not ready yet and I won't do it with a stranger.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Student Artist
xD I didn't mean now. 

You never know with you. :P You're pretty spontaneous so I wouldn't have been very surprised if you did decide to do it with a stranger. Yous unpredictable.  
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconmaryjayne530:
maryjayne530 Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I like it
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks!
Reply
:icontnttinatheawesome:
TNTtinatheawesome Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Very good!!:D
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks!!:D
Reply
:icontnttinatheawesome:
TNTtinatheawesome Featured By Owner May 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! :D
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student Artist
Make sure to listen to it if you haven't already~
Reply
:icontnttinatheawesome:
TNTtinatheawesome Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Alright. :D
Reply
:iconepismatic:
Epismatic Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, it's beautiful Happy cry (Tears of joy) 
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Student Artist
Glad you enjoyed this :) 

Make sure to listen to it if you haven't already~
Reply
:iconepismatic:
Epismatic Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Ok, I will :)
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Student Artist
Let me know what you think of it! :D
Reply
:iconepismatic:
Epismatic Featured By Owner May 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Just listened to it, and it's really cool :D
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner May 22, 2014  Student Artist
Glad you like it!
Reply
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