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Early mornin’ coffee
Never tasted so bitter.
I’m telling you, I’m fine.
Every mornin’, the same routine.
Why do you still not believe me?
I’m fine, I swear.
I just couldn’t sleep…
Again.
But who needs sleep anyways?
I write instead.
I’m fine. Just a little brain dead.
I was just thinking about the past,
And I fantasized
That there was a happy ending.
I’m fine now.
I’m just fine.
Don’t worry.
 Just thoughts I have sometimes...

I've never had such a strong impulse to write...I've had so many things happen around me that I want to get out to the world. Here's a small piece of it.

Coffee is the shit doe.

---

Add a Comment:
 
:iconlittleprincess28:
LittlePrincess28 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Thats  true but it's good
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student Artist
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconlittleprincess28:
LittlePrincess28 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
Your welcome :D
Reply
:iconmunches2008:
munches2008 Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Student Photographer
Another poem that fits me well. Sorry you have to deal with this.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Dec 20, 2013  Student Artist
Meh It's all good. It's not about me.
Reply
:iconlepoerd731:
lepoerd731 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Now this poem I can relate to entirely. I think about the past all the time and fantasize about happy endings too...

Again, great poem. :)
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Student Artist
Thank you :)
Reply
:iconlepoerd731:
lepoerd731 Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome~
Reply
:icontobassinesia:
Tobassinesia Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013
How's your friend in the hospital doing nowadays? (Hope that didn't come off as random)
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2013  Student Artist
She got released last wednesday :) She says she feels a lot better but she's on and off so we'll see.
Reply
:icontobassinesia:
Tobassinesia Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013
That's great to hear! I'll keep her in my prayers.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2013  Student Artist
:) Thank you.
Reply
:icongreenleaf1075:
Greenleaf1075 Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a great lie many of us tell ourselves and the ones we love. Great job! Keep up the great work!
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks ^.^

It wasn't really what I was getting at though. Refer to a few comments below this one:

"In the poem, I'm not talking about hiding such feelings as sadness or hatred towards a certain situation, rather, in the poem, I was trying to write about the emotional numbing people who go through clinical depression go through after being exposed to so many negative feelings in their life.This gets to the point that all they can feel is "fine", that is, a state of neutrality, they become emotionless. 

I was inspired to write this while thinking of a novel I had read about 3 years ago titled "Chocalate Wars", the father exhibits these similar traits. In addition, a friend of mine was talking about how they felt this way a few days ago."
Reply
:icongreenleaf1075:
Greenleaf1075 Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I've always found that 'I'm fine' or 'I'm okay' to almost be a copout. Maybe it's just me, maybe not. There are so many layers to a human being and to say that we are just 'fine' almost in a way cheapens us as. I can't tell you how many times a week I've said those words and known that there not completely true, I always have some sort of emotion. 

And than I think about those that say they are emotionless, or people say they are emotionless and I still see something. What it is or isn't I have no idea. I am reminded of a time a friend of mine said she truly felt no emotion about an event (it was something that most people would either cry, pull their hair out, or worse) and it scared her. I had t remind her that fear is an emotion and she may not feel it completely for this event, she still feels something because of it.

Anyways, I don't think we were trying to get into some sort of life lesson or something here, haha
Sweating a little... . I just think that the phase 'I'm fine', 'I'm okay' is a lie for a lot of people. 

Thank you for sharing you amazing work and please keep up the great work!
:) (Smile) 
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Student Artist
People going into an "Emotionless" state exists. Have a look at child soldiers, after being in complete shock from their experience, their brain shuts out everything, at that point they can't really feel anything, it's just nothingness. 

The friend I was referring to suffers from chronic depression and anxiety disorder; she was actual admitted to a mental institution a few days ago. I'm visiting today to see how she's coping, I also have to speak to her parents about something.
Reply
:icongreenleaf1075:
Greenleaf1075 Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I understand that. I've done many of a research papers on such trauma. However, from my personal experience many people over use the phrase itself. They truly have no concept of chronic depression or heavy trauma. They play the victim, if you will. What you are referring to is typically called 'checking out'. I've seen the real thing and the fake. It's scary, truly scary, because they no longer care about themselves or the people around them. They could blow up the very spot they stand, even surrounded by family and friends and not care. However, that doesn't change the fact that people over use it, which makes it difficult for people like your friend who are truly in pain.

I hope that your friend find the help they need and deserve. The pain that she is going through is tough and I understand. I am glad to know that she has someone that does understand, because there are too many people that are left untreated and uncared for that really need it. It will be a life long struggle, and she will need to be tough to get through it. Be strong for her, because right now she can't be strong for herself. Good luck and my very best wishes.
Reply
:iconericambm:
EricAMBM Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013   Writer
sometimes we lie to ourselves as much as those around us. Very well said.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks...though that wasn't what I was getting at in this poem.

Refer to a few comments below this one. Here are the relevent part:

"In the poem, I'm not talking about hiding such feelings as sadness or hatred towards a certain situation, rather, in the poem, I was trying to write about the emotional numbing people who go through clinical depression go through after being exposed to so many negative feelings in their life.This gets to the point that all they can feel is "fine", that is, a state of neutrality, they become emotionless."
Reply
:iconericambm:
EricAMBM Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013   Writer
alright well thats a bit more interesting 
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Student Artist
Yeah...urg.
Reply
:iconfrankensteinbro:
frankensteinbro Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013
indeed... ... ive to say things ppl around me want to hear
why im not like others.... =.=
im fine ....
nice one
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks :)
Reply
:iconmagdah97:
MagdaH97 Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
this is so good!
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks!!
Reply
:iconmsjlpalo:
msjlpalo Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student General Artist
Yep, we'll all be fine..
I like this!!

I say "i'm fine" all the time, and even though i dont mean it sometimes, it made me feel strong, 'cause i have to be strong.
And writing is one pf the biggest help i have whenever i feel down!
So... Yep! I can relate to this!

Cool thinking!
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks! :)

As I said in the comment section somewhere here, this was less about saying "I'm fine" as a lie, but rather it was about emotional numbing that people who've gone through massive amounts of negative emotions in the past, child soldiers, for example. It was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend of mine, who suffers from chronic depression (which is different from sadness, by the way) and anxiety disorder. She was put into a mental hospital for a few days because of it.
Reply
:iconmistertotality:
MisterTotality Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013
I love this on so many levels!  First off, the poem spoke to me, and I feel that I "got it" before you addressed the misinterpretations below.  Furthermore, I also feel a strong impulse to write right now, having gone through quite a lot, especially recently.  Sadly, though, I'm really just getting under way with writing in a non-technical format, so I feel like a child learning to walk in this respect.

Lastly, coffee is quite possibly the greatest single thing on Earth!  Even when everything else is falling apart, there's always that wonderful, black elixir!
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student Artist
Glad you enjoyed it :) It means the world to me. 

Yesss coffeee.

Thank you~
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Artist
I think some people have misinterpreted what I was going at here, so I'm going to address it in the comment section here. I'll also copy the message to my Facebook page...

In the poem, I'm not talking about hiding such feelings as sadness or hatred towards a certain situation, rather, in the poem, I was trying to write about the emotional numbing people who go through clinical depression go through after being exposed to so many negative feelings in their life.This gets to the point that all they can feel is "fine", that is, a state of neutrality, they become emotionless. 

I was inspired to write this while thinking of a novel I had read about 3 years ago titled "Chocalate Wars", the father exhibits these similar traits. In addition, a friend of mine was talking about how they felt this way a few days ago.
Reply
:icon914four:
914four Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I couldn't find an appropriate quote (something that rarely occurs) so I decided to fall back on one that I hope will at least elicit a smile.
"He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife." - Douglas Adams
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Artist
Haha...too bad I have no idea what this has to do nwith anything :p
Reply
:icon914four:
914four Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Probably nothing, perhaps I should have you read my disclaimer before proceeding. 
I collect quotes you see, and it's quite rare that I cannot find one that is appropriate for the mood of a decent poem. Alas, on this occassion, I could not. But I did sense a darker emotion in your words, and thought that a moment of levity might be called for. Please forgive me if I've overstepped my mandate. 
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:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student Artist
ahhh I see. Don't worry about it
Reply
:icon914four:
914four Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:-)
Reply
:iconsoundoftheangel:
SoundOfTheAngel Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013
That reminds me so much of myself. 
I say this all the time. That optimistic mask I wear all the time, saying "I'm fine" and "it's nothing" or "nothing you need to worry about" with a big fake smile. 
There's just so much more. 
I wonder if there is a time when it won't be a lie.  
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Artist
You'll get better :) Believe me. People go through worst shit in their lives. I don't know what you've been through, you could be rest assured of that.

A friend of mine lives in a group home due to clinical depression; another stayed at a mental hospital for a few days, from what I understand, due to a mix of anxiety disorder as well as clinical depression. 

Hang on, you'll be fine. ^.^ Help is available if you need it.


Reply
:iconrema-alkhany:
Rema-Alkhany Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013
It's soft Thoughts and thin, thank you.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Artist
I'm glad you enjoyed this. Thank YOU.

Reply
:iconrema-alkhany:
Rema-Alkhany Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013
Thanks,welcome, to my gallery
Reply
:iconforgottenfears:
ForgottenFears Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013
This reminds me a lot of my sister. She does the same thing this poem is talking about. I love the way it's written. It's beautiful even if it is a bit dark.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Artist
Keep her close.
Reply
:iconforgottenfears:
ForgottenFears Featured By Owner Nov 3, 2013
Kind of hard to at times but I'm doing the best I can.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 4, 2013  Student Artist
Best of luck to you.
Reply
:iconforgottenfears:
ForgottenFears Featured By Owner Nov 5, 2013
Many thanks.
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Student Artist
:)
Reply
:iconlady-lisette:
Lady-Lisette Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is brilliant. Dark, very emotional, I can relate to a lot of it. Early morning coffee as a way to chase out things nagging on the mind and just the daily stress.
I honestly love this a lot, it is very good :)
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Student Artist
Thanks and yesss coffee fixes everything.
Reply
:iconlady-lisette:
Lady-Lisette Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes it does xP
Reply
:icondylanseto:
DylanSeto Featured By Owner Nov 2, 2013  Student Artist
:) coffeeeeeee
Reply
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